Monday, 10 February 2014

Addiction...


I am an addict,
as much as I try
and quit find hard
to submit.

The demon be calling...
when I go back I know
I am falling...
for the same trip,
where know one lifts my
head when I am sick;

I need a fix...
I need a fix...

But problems
still remain broken,
I had two beautiful
children and now
I can never hold them.

As my abuse grows,
life becomes filled
with more lows,
the only way to feel
the high is to line that
powder up and march
it into my nose.

I justify my problem
when others tell
me to stop,
denial is my
best friend
whilst my real friends
tend to drop.

I promised
my little girl
I would take her out,
instead I stayed in as
she came to my room
watching me foam
out my mouth;

she called the ambulance
so I survived, but when I
came to and looked at her,
I felt low and in truth just
wanted to die.

I should be addicted to life, 
addiction is hard to fight, 
my days become darker
because I refuse to see the light.  

People tell me to stop, 
I say "NO... it's my BODY"
my lungs continue to cough, 
but the blood isn't going to stop me.   

I started with a cue, 
now my life is with the lines, 
a more expensive habit, 
now my life consist of petty crimes;  

Stealing from my mum, 
selling my sons video games, 
robbing old women to get 
my next buzz again; 

although I remain broken hearted 
my mind ignores and tells me 
"I am not going to change"

I know I need help 
and most important 
I need my health, 
ecstasy is temporary heaven 
but tomorrow is going 
to be a living hell.   

"Addiction 
kills motivation,
leads to stagnation, 
brings you so low 
that it becomes hard 
to reach true elevation"

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